UMI’s INTROSPECTION: A TRIBUTE TO SELF-LOVE
Photo courtesy of UMI
UMI is a rising R&B singer, songwriter, director, and painter. In her interview with Love to All Project, she discusses her art, dedication to queer and racial advocacy, and an exciting new project, Introspection. To Umi, music, social media, and the queer community are spaces that allow her to reflect on her identity and practice self-love.
LTA: Could you introduce yourself and explain what you do?
Hi, my name is Umi! I am an artist, singer/songwriter, director, and painter. I’m from Seattle, but I live in LA, and I make neo soul/R&B music. But overall, all the music I make is, I feel, healing music—in that my intention is to just bring more understanding and joy to people through the sonics of my music.
LTA: What has your personal journey with your identity been like?
That’s a great question. I would say that my journey with identity has been one of finding more self-love and acceptance for myself over time. I didn’t grow up around people who look like me—I’m half-Black and half-Asian—but I really didn’t go to school with many Black people or many Asian people so growing up, I felt kind of isolated and as if I was a representation for my whole community. There was a lot weighing on my shoulders to own up to. I felt like I had to be more Black, or I had to be more Asian. I had a lot of internal turmoil within myself and with my identity. But as I’ve grown older and also been in more diverse environments, I’ve learned to accept and love myself for my mixed culture and for being someone who is more fluid in my identity. I’ve become more accepting and loving of the diversity within myself, and as I’ve done that, I feel that everything I say and everything I create comes from a place of more love, so it’s been a very holistic self-love journey.
LTA: Being an internet presence, what has your experience been like navigating its ups and downs?
Yeah, I would say that the internet, to me, has become a really beautiful and expansive place. My career wouldn’t be my career without the internet and without the ability for me to make music and not have to have a middle person or a middle company dictating what the people hear and what gets to reach the mainstream. Because of the internet, anyone has the power to reach a global audience, so I’m very grateful for the internet and grateful to be an artist during this time where I can use the internet to amplify my voice. But I also think I’ve learned to be mindful about my use on the internet. I honestly don’t go online—especially social media. I don’t use it as much; I use it to share my message, share my thoughts, and then I try to stay out of it, stay present and grounded in reality. The internet is a whole other world! It’s a mental world where people aren’t physically there. So I’m learning to balance the both: loving the internet, and being grateful for the internet, but keeping a mindful balance with it.
LTA: Can you tell us about your journey as a singer?
I feel like it was just so natural for me, growing up. As soon as I learned to write, I started writing songs and short stories and I remember running around the house singing all these songs that I’d write. I have two little sisters, so I’d do concerts for them on my bed! So it’s always been something that felt like fun, like play to me. But I also had the worst stage fright for most of my life. So it’s this weird thing where I know it’s my purpose—I go to sleep and I dream of performing and I dream of making music—but then I wake up and I’m like “I don’t want to sing in front of anybody,” and it brings so much fear and anxiety to me. Over time, I’ve really learned to step into that fear and embrace that fear and go head on with it. As soon as I moved to LA, I did open mics every week to get over my fear and perform as much at my college talent shows. I’m now at a place where I feel really comfortable on stage, very in-purpose on stage, so it’s been a cool evolution. But music has always been so natural. I come from a musical family. My mom plays piano, my dad is a drummer, my aunts and uncles all sing, so I feel singing ancestrally. It almost feels destined—like every generation was slowly getting there so I could make it, or that I could do music. So singing really runs deep as well.
Photo courtesy of UMI
LTA: Is your family accepting of your identity?
I would say yes, for sure. My family is very “do what makes you happy” in their mindset. They never forced a way of life onto me, only pushed me to just follow my joy, which I’m really grateful for. I think that’s why I've been able to find my passion early. They’ve always been so supportive. But I think it’s because my parents didn’t come from as supportive families, so they wanted to pass on a more supportive environment to me. I’m very grateful for their support, and their openness to all of me.
“Everything I say and everything I create comes from a place of more love.”
– UMI
LTA: In your music, how are the ways in which you’ve explored that aspect of your identity?
I would say this upcoming project is probably the most exploratory project, where I really have gone within myself and spoken about different experiences. But that didn’t really come until I opened myself up to myself; all the projects before this were my journey of opening up and understanding myself - which to me means journaling more and meditating more and just sitting with my thoughts such as “Why do I think this thought?” or “Why do I feel this way?” and asking myself more questions. That’s why this next project is called “Introspection” because it is almost like a body of work that embodies my self-questioning the past year. After coming up with this project, I thought, “This is a shared experience that a lot of people have, these different identities or realities about themselves, and that would be nice to see reflected in the world.” I think my music embodies my inner questioning, and I think this project speaks to that.
LTA: I admire that so much. Self-questioning is a powerful, and incredibly brave, process. What do you see for yourself in the future? What is coming up?
I see so much. In the immediate future, I’m excited for people to receive this project. I have been really manifesting this project for so long. There’s a short film coming out with this project as well, which I am also excited for people to receive. After that, I’m going to take a break from creating to recharge myself and experience life - so I am going to travel, spend time with friends, and just be. I’d like to soak up more learning so that my next project can be another reflection of my growth. And then further down the line, I’m excited for when touring starts up again. I just feel like the live shows will be like something no one has ever gone to before, and it's going to be such a new, loving space to be in. I’m excited to do more creative things like directing more films, and I want to do design. I want to curate a new museum and expand myself. And then I want to practice mediating more, going deeper within myself, and reading more books.
Photo courtesy of UMI
“Once we reach [a] broader acceptance, we can transcend past labels and we can love because we love.”
– UMI
LTA: What is some advice you’d give to queer youth facing challenges of underrepresentation?
I would say to remember that even though I may not see myself in that field, or I might not see someone who reflects who I am in that field, I know that if I chase my joy, then I can inspire more people to follow in that path. Being more confident and assured in the idea that you are meant to be that representation was a very big thing I realized for myself. It got me through. I would also say that we are now at this turning point in society where diversity is being welcomed on a broader scale so it’s a really exciting time to be a young person right now because we really need to shape the spaces we want our presence to be in. So my advice is not to be at odds with the world, but rather to accept that it is really an exciting time. Rather than thinking that there’s no representation, think about how this representation is just beginning, and I get to shape what that representation looks like. It’s important to feel excited, and shifting my energy into a more optimistic perspective has been really empowering for me. I hope that somebody can take some optimism from that and feel excited into this era of creativity. It's a cool time to be alive.
LTA: You grew up in Seattle, and you’re currently in California. How was the move for you?
It was so important for me to move. I did not know anybody out here, I had no family out here so I felt like I got to recreate myself and ask myself who I wanted to be, what friends I wanted to have, and what community I wanted to be surrounded by. It was almost like a reset button for myself. Moving was really profound for me, and when I first moved, I didn’t have many friends for the first few years, or really deep friendships for a while, but I think that kind of solo time was important for me to understand who I want to be around. Your friends are everything. Your friends shape and dictate your perception of yourself and of the future. So after some time here, I feel like the community of people I am around are all people who uplift me and inspire me, people who make me feel like “I want to be like you,” and they want to be like me. We are constantly, infinitely ascending together. Yes, the move was so so good for me, and I am so happy that I did that.
LTA: So with this move to California, and how it helped shape your perception of yourself, was it in part because there is a greater diversity of people in California so you saw more people who reflected who you are?
Yes, 100 percent! I have great friends back home, but California is a great hub of creativity. All my friends are creative in one sense or another, whether it is painting, music or photography. I had just never been around people who had the same mindset of creativity and who saw creative work as a fulfilling work that allows you to do more than pay the bills. It also allows you to live in abundance and to fully chase your dreams - that’s one of the things I love about California. Everyone is trying to make it. Everyone is trying to chase their dreams, so that puts a fire under me and makes me feel like I want to chase my dreams. And, the sun has been so good for me. It keeps me energized and motivated.
LTA: When did you start questioning your sexuality?
Honestly, recently, not until about a year and a half ago. I feel like I had always grown up around friends in the LGBT community, and I just never thought that was me. I think it was because I just didn’t question myself and ask myself. It wasn’t until a friend asked me, “Do you like girls?” and I was like, “Hmmm, I never thought about that one.” After a while, I came to the conclusion, “I think I do like girls, but I think I like everybody”—it doesn't have a gender to it. Then I realized there is a title for that if I have to put a title on it. So I guess that was the beginning of my journey. Also, since realizing that, it took me time to undo all the social conditioning within myself, and also to read just my perception of myself to be able to say, “It’s okay to like girls, it’s not weird to like girls.” Relearning that perception of myself and what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ has been my journey in the past year and a half.
Photo courtesy of UMI
“There is going to be love everywhere in the world!”
– UMI
LTA: Thank you. It seems that the queer community had previously been based a lot in titles and definitions which has a historical basis and was necessary. However, it is also really beautiful how we are moving to a space where you just are, title or not.
Yes, truly, and I feel like soon everyone is going to realize we love everybody, and there is going to be love everywhere in the world!
LTA: How would you like to see the queer community move forward or change?
First, I’d like to see more inclusivity. I really do feel like we are reaching a place where youth is really open to inclusivity of all identities and all racial backgrounds but just expanding that - so more media representations within media of different types of queer couples and queer relationships, so more representation and more acceptance. My ultimate vision for the community is like you said, to transcend past labels, although it is important right now as it helps establish ourselves as equals and helps us be heard. But once we reach that broader acceptance, we can transcend past labels and we can love because we love. We won’t have to come out to anyone or explain ourselves. We can just be ourselves.
LTA: That’s such a beautiful vision. Going back to what you said about media representation of queer people, there seems to be a lack of diversity with race, and most of the representation has been with white couples. Would you agree with that? What are your thoughts?
Yes, I agree; it started with white people, but that’s how it has always started because the white people have funded a lot of these things, and they want to see their people represented first. It is beautiful that we can have that representation, and they can open the gates for more representation. It is so important for people of color to see themselves represented because a lot of our families are still reaching acceptance for us, and oftentimes, the acceptance does not come from the home but rather the world around you—so if you can see your people and your identity being represented in TV and in movies then maybe even if my parents don't agree with me, the broader world sees me. I think that type of representation is so important. It’s been happening, which is really cool and exciting. That also comes back to young creatives being okay with being the first people to be a creative that looks like them in their industry. Because then you can create more representation, so then the next generation of our kids can grow up watching TV and movies or playing video games that are more close to accurate to them—it's like passing a baton.
Be sure to check out UMI’s latest film and EP, ‘Introspection”! Available on all streaming platforms.
Interviewed and Written by Morgan Lee
Edited by Maureena Murphy
June 2020 – PRIDE MONTH